Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
