All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
