I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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