Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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