wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
