We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
