Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
