I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
