Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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