Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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