Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
