come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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