Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
