so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
