Screwed.edu
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
