Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
