We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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