It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
