I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
