I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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