The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
