Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
