she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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