we have officially lost it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
try to milk me bitch
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
