The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
