Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You can't just leave with hair like that
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
