She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
