O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
