you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
