And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
