How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
