Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
