guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
