R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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