i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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