their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i think my cat just said my name.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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