hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
