A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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