She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
