so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
are you so shy because you have an std?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
