I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
