My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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