You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
