I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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