i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
