I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
