are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
