Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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