I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
