Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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