Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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