i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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