so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Omg I joined a choir last night...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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